Friday, January 27, 2012

Accepting vs. Settling ...

"Go after what you want. Do whatever it takes. Never settle."  

~Mike Salomon


When we start reflecting and doing thought work-we realize that our thoughts are the cause of our happiness or lack thereof.  What this means is that we can find a way to be happy in most situations.

When we are clear in our thinking and we feel good-we make very good decisions about our life.  Accepting is not the same as settling ...

Here is the difference between settling (never do it) and accepting (always do this):

Settling:  Continuing something we know is not in our best interest without doing any evaluation or thought work.
 

:  Staying in negative emotion willingly
 

:  Consciously giving up
 

:  Short changing ourselves

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Learn Your Body's Language ...

"The body has its own way of knowing, a knowing that has little to do with logic, and much to do with truth, little to do with control, and much to do with acceptance, little to do with division and analysis, and much to do with union."


-- Marilyn Sewell


Are you aware of your body’s wisdom? Our bodies usually know us better than our minds do. If you have a decision to make, consult your body before making a final choice.


Reflect on an option before you and then pay attention to your body. Are you breathing deeply or barely at all? Are your muscles tense or relaxed? Is your energy blocked or flowing?


Your body knows what it likes and it feels good when it's happy. As your body is the source of your vitality, your motivation, your inspiration and enthusiasm and most importantly, your intuition, it's best to get that part of you on-side if you are venturing into a new activity.


"When you are saying that you are happy and you are not, there will be a disturbance in your breathing. Your breathing cannot be natural. It is impossible."
-- Osho

"Our inner guidance comes to us through our feelings and body wisdom first -- not through intellectual understanding. ...The intellect works best in service to our intuition, our inner guidance, soul, God or higher power -- whichever term we choose for the spiritual energy that animates life."
-- Christiane Northrup

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Dump Your Excuses ...

“ The thing that cowardice fears most is decision. ” 
~Soren Kierkegaard

Sometimes, if we don't have success after repeated attempts to do something, we can lose confidence and eventually give up trying. It's called "learned helplessness" (we learn to be helpless).

Are there any areas where you, your team at work, your family... have STOPPED trying (or try, but with little commitment and effort) because prior repeated failures and/ or a perceived inability to succeed has trained you not to try?

If so, what can you start doing today to minimize any "learned helplessness" that may have set in?
Think about it ... If you need a reminder to dump your excuses, here's one:

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Relationship Reflection ...

Every relationship rests on three legs: accepting, supporting and challenging ...

That's really it, isn't it? You want your relationships to be grounded on accepting each other as you are. On supporting each other through the inevitable ups and downs. On challenging each other to become more, to grow, to flourish ...
Which one of these is the more difficult one for you, and how are you going to practice on improving it in the next 24 hours?

Friday, January 20, 2012

Fix Your Focus ...

"What we focus on, we empower and enlarge. Good multiplies when focused upon. Negativity multiplies when focused upon. The choice is ours: Which do we want more of?"   

~Julia Cameron

Negativity sucks away energy. If part of the negativity stems from your attitude or perspective, commit yourself at the beginning of each day and each activity to find something positive in yourself and in others around you. If the people around you are negative and you can't change that, either remove yourself from the situation or view it simply as one obstacle you face in pursuing your own potential. Stay focused on your own goals and make the best of the situation.


People who project negativity typically have low self-esteem. They feel badly about themselves, and their negativity is simply a reflection of those feelings. Don't be one of those people.  And if you are, stop it!  

Take control of your negative feelings, negative self image, insecurities and self-doubt.  Don't waste another second of your life living in a limited state of mind.  This is your life and you only get one! Let today be your day to change for the better and live up to your highest potential! "Every moment that passes by is another chance to turn it all around." ...   

Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power ...  Do not give negative feelings your power.



 "Accent your positive and delete your negative." 
~ Donna Karan


Thursday, January 19, 2012

Always Be True to Yourself ...

"This above all; to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." ~  William Shakespeare

Be true to the light that is deep within you. Hold on to your joy for life. Keep good thoughts in your mind and good feelings in your heart. Keep love in your life , and you will find the love and light in everyone.

Be giving , forgiving , patient , and kind. Have faith in yourself. Be your own best friend , and listen to the voice that tells you to be your best self.

Be true to yourself in the paths that you choose. Follow your talents and passions ; don't take the roads others say you must follow because they are the most popular. Take the paths where your talents will thrive - the ones that will keep your spirits alive with enthusiasm and everlasting joy.

Most of all , never forget that there is no brighter light than the one within you. Keep on being true to yourself. Keep shining your light on others so they will have a reason to smile. Follow your inner light to your own personal greatness , and remember that you are admired and loved just as you are.
by Jacqueline Schiff via Positive Thoughts >>
 
  "Learn to... be what you are, and learn to resign with a good grace all that you are not. "Henri Frederic Amiel

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Today, We Are Striking Against Censorship !

Join us in this historic moment: tell Congress to stop this bill now!

Daily Geisha will be offline today, because the US Senate is considering legislation that would certainly kill us forever. The legislation is called the PROTECT IP Act (PIPA), and would put us in legal jeopardy if we linked to a site anywhere online that had any links to copyright infringement.

This would unmake the Web, just as proposed in the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA). We don't want that world. If you don't want it either, visit www.AmericanCensorship.org for instructions on contacting your Senator. The Electronic Frontier Foundation has more information on this and other issues central to your freedom online. Or simply inform yourself on the information provided here and sign the petition below ...  Please do not delay, as this bill is expected to pass on January 24th, 2012. (Six days from today.)

Sincerely,

Daily Geisha

The Power of Kindness ...

“Don’t wait for people to be friendly. Show them how.”
"... I’ve learned we don’t need to live life in a constant state of reaction to things that seem difficult or unfair. We don’t have to be the victims of bad coming at us. Our lives don’t have to be the sum of our problems—not if we take responsibility for putting good into the world.

That starts by fostering a greater appreciation for our interdependence. We are not alone. The world is not against us, and we don’t have to be against each other. We don’t have to let our fears, insecurities and wants boil over inside us until we’re all a bunch of incompatible toxic chemicals waiting to explode the second we collide.

You can always find a negative story to tell—some situation when another person was insensitive, selfish, uncaring, unfair, or just plain wrong. You can also find an underlying struggle that doesn’t justify but might explain their behavior.
If you absolutely can’t channel that compassion and patience, you can always find at least one good thing someone did in your day.

When that stranger held the elevator open, when your coworker let you take the lead in your meeting, when your mother called just to say she loves you; they’re all reminders people are looking out for you—maybe not all of them, and maybe not all the time, but probably more than you notice.

An even better way to honor our interconnection: be someone else’s positive story. Be the kindness that reminds someone else the world is not against them. Give them an anchor of positivity to find later if their circumstances seem overwhelming.

If you’ve ever ended a stressful day with a long hug—the type that’s so needed and loving it’s near impossible not to relax and receive—you know the power of a simple gesture ... "


~Lori Deschene
  "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!"
 
This has been yet another amazing post that has totally re-aligned my perspective today. Thank you, tinybuddha :
Read the rest of the amazing post and more from Lori Deschene >>

Friday, January 13, 2012

Train Your Soul ...

“Wise are they who have learned these truths: Trouble is temporary. Time is tonic. Tribulation is a test tube.” 

~William Arthur Ward

Life’s tests don’t come when we’re prepared for them. They come when we’re not. How spiritual we are isn’t just about how much we smile or share – it’s also what we do when we get tested.

One thing’s for sure: our inner opponent is never going to take us on when we are ready. One way to insure we make it through those trying moments is to conduct ourselves like boxers - keep hitting even when we’re hurt, and let our natural instincts take over.

The idea is to train our soul. To make our standard action an affirmative one. Start by making your small reactions more positive, and you’ll soon hold up when the big challenges come at you...  


Expect less.  Hope for the best.  ALWAYS be prepared!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Karma ...

"Karma's only a bitch if you are."


Karma is...  

Action. Reaction. Everything that you do initiates a chain of cause and effect, a twisting path of action and reaction extends infinitely out in to our future and rebounds indefinitely into our past.  But this infinite chain is circular; what you send out returns. 

In the East, karma gives us a guide to this principle. It comes in many forms, practiced by many religions, but at its heart is the notion that what you do, good, ill, neutral, will come back upon you.
 
It is not a revenge, nor a cosmic punishment; it is more like a ledger, a cosmic balance sheet. You can not do something without some effect rebounding back to you. 

In the West, karma is not an explicit part of our philosophy, but it is inherent in the golden rule; do only to others what you would have them do to you. 

Karma can guide you. Not by fear of punishment, but by acceptance of balance.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Life Is Simple ...

"Life is not complicated.  We are complicated.  When we stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, life is simple."


So starting today…

Stop berating yourself for being a work in progress. – Start embracing it!  Because being a work in progress doesn’t mean you’re not good enough today.  It means you want a better tomorrow, and you wish to love yourself completely, so you can live your life fully.  It means you’re determined to heal your heart, expand your mind and cultivate the gifts you know you’re meant to share. May we all be works in progress forever, and celebrate the fact that we are!

Stop doing immoral things simply because you can. – Start being honest with yourself and everyone else.  Don’t cheat.  Be faithful.  Be kind.  Do the right thing!  It is a less complicated way to live.  Integrity is the essence of everything successful.  When you break the rules of integrity you invite serious complications into your life.  Keep life simple and enjoyable by doing what you know in your heart is right.

Stop meaning what you don’t say. – Start communicating clearly.  Don’t try to read other people’s minds, and don’t make other people try to read yours.  Most problems, big and small, within a family, friendship, or business relationship, start with bad communication.  Someone isn’t being clear.

Stop wasting time and money trying to acquire more of everything. – Start focusing on quality.  High quality is worth more than any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences.  Truly ‘rich’ people need less to be happy.  Live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one.  Too many people buy things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t know.  Do not spend to impress others.  Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects.  Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you.  Read The Millionaire Next Door.

Stop spending time with negative people. – Start spending time with nice people who are smart, driven and like-minded.  Relationships should help you, not hurt you.  Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be.  Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.  Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  When you free yourself of negative people, you free yourself to be YOU – and being YOU is the simplest way to live.

Stop trying to change people. – Start accepting people just the

Friday, January 6, 2012

Compassion in Action...

"Love and compassion are not necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive. With them, we can make a joint effort to solve the problems of the whole of humankind." ~Dalai Lama

When we look at the vast sadness and suffering in the world, we often experience intense pain in our hearts. The suffering so often seems cruel, unnecessary, and unjustified ~ reflecting a heartless universe. The human greed and fear that are causing much of the suffering seem out of control. But when our hearts open in the midst of this, we want to help. This is the experience of compassion.

Compassion is the tender opening of our hearts to pain and suffering. When compassion arises in us, we see and acknowledge what we often push away ~ the parts of life that cause us sadness, anger or outrage. The powerful awakening of our own compassion can tune us not just to the nurturing and sustaining forces of the world, but to the oppressive and destructive ones as well. 


When we open to these directly and become familiar with them, instead of avoiding them as we often do, we are more likely to hear ways to respond with love and support to relieve the suffering. When the pain is our own, we want to end it. If we can't do this by ourselves, we long for help. When it is not our cry, but someone else's, compassion allows us to feel it as our own, to feel the same longing, to hear our hearts calling us to help.

The Dalai Lama has said, "Love and compassion are not necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive. With them, we can make a joint effort to solve the problems of the whole of humankind."

Compassion is the basis of all truthful relationships: it means being present with love ~ for ourselves and for all life, including animals, fish, birds, and trees. Compassion is bringing our deepest truth into our actions, no matter how much the world seems to resist, because that is ultimately what we have to give this world and one another.



-by Ram Dass (Mar 10, 2003)


Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Keep Your Resolutions Alive ...

"Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever."
~ Mark Twain



Mark Twain was right about the problem with the New Year's Resolutions. Most of them are forgotten or abandoned and then we are on the old trampled and familiar paths a month later. But how can we avoid that and actually make lasting changes in 2012?

Well, today I'd like to share a couple of mistakes I have made and often see other people make when it comes to keeping your New Year's resolution. And how you can avoid making those mistakes and make your resolution stick and become a permanent part of your life.

1. You don't really want it that much.

It's easy to tipsily declare your New Year's resolution for 2012 when you got a glass of champagne in your hand. But do actually want it?

Maybe you don't really want it that much. But the world around you or someone in your your life seems to want it. This doesn't mean that you can't achieve it. But it might be better to focus on what YOU really want. Both to steer your life in the direction you yourself want and to create positive internal motivation instead of external pressure you feel you should live up to.

This doesn't mean that you can't use "looking good at the beach" as one motivation to get in shape. But do it because you want to look good. Not mainly because you want other people to validate you.

How do you find out what you really want to do? By really thinking about it. By asking yourself if it is something YOU truly want. And by experimenting and just trying things out (the image you have of something in your head can be quite different from the actual experience). Get to know what you really want in your life.

When you have figured out what you really want take out a pen and piece of paper. Write down all the reasons why you want to achieve this. And then along the way, whenever your motivation starts to go down, review this piece of paper to remind yourself of why it so important do make this change in your life.

2. You confuse homeostasis with "time to give up".

One problem with sticking with your resolution is homeostasis. What that means is that any system wants to be stable. That goes for you. And for the people around you.

So after the initial enthusiasm wanes it may not feel as that much fun anymore. It's sort of enthusiasm backlash. This is the homeostasis kicking in within your mind (no matter if the goal/habit etc. is actually very positive for you). It's a resistance to change to keep the system (you) stable. If you are simply aware of this being what it is - rather than a signal to give up - you can persevere, be patient and keep going more easily.

You should also be aware that the homeostasis may appear in the people around you too. Sure, you getting shape might be great. But it might mean changes in the lives of the people around you too (perhaps new food and nights spent running instead of watching TV with the family etc.). So the people around you may react negatively in some way. Realize that it is probably the homeostasis in them, not that they are being mean. It's their brains doing what's natural to keep the system (the family, the circle of friends) stable when "scary change" intrudes.

3. You don't have a realistic plan and expectations.

It's easy to get caught up in the enthusiasm and to think that your resolution will be taken care of within a few weeks. In reality, however, things tend to take longer than we may have hoped for. Especially if you haven't done anything similar before and lack actual experience to draw understanding from.

To make a realistic plan you need to educate yourself. Not just draw up some random plan. Have a look at some well respected books - for instance by checking the Amazon rating/reviews for them - and websites on the topic you're interested in. Talk and listen to people who have actually done what you want to do.

I would also recommend focusing on making the activity the goal, not the result. If you focus on losing 20 pound and misjudge the time and effort it will take to do that then it's very easy to become disheartened and give up.

So focus on the process, focus on - for instance - working out 3 times a week instead. Make that your habit and adjust the difficulty along the way. You should still have your goal of losing those pounds in your mind and measure from time to time. But keep your main focus on just going to the gym or running track consistently, week in and week out. The pounds will come off as a side effect of that habit.

With a realistic plan where you focus on consistent action it become easier to be more patient. And also not to give up when you are faced with homeostasis or the inevitable mistakes and temporary failures along the way.

4. You're not changing your environment to suit you.

I think this is an important and sometimes overlooked point. To be able to change you may have to change parts of your daily environment to better support you when establishing your new habit.

  • Make it easy. The weather can be pretty bad this time of year. So it becomes very easy to rationalize to yourself that you don't have to go to the gym because of the snow or rain. So make it easier. Buy some free weights and/or an exercise bike and work out from home. This can really help you to improve your consistency.
  • Make it fun. You don't have to go running if you never really liked it. You can play soccer if you think that is more fun. Try different activities to find what fits you.
  • Remind yourself. You memory is often not that good when you are doing something new, at least for the first month. So put a reminder on the fridge to work out after supper. Put out your training clothes and running shoes so you notice them (instead of having them tucked away in the closet where you forget about them). You may even want to put up your note with all the reasons for sticking with your resolution by your bathroom mirror to get a motivational boost at the start of each day.
  • Remove easy availability. If you are going to eat healthier this year then one simple but effective tip is simply to remove the easy availability. So toss out all the cookies and then fill up that vacuum in your life by filling your cupboard and fridge with healthier snacks like fruit and nuts.

5. You let temporary failure or mistakes lead to giving up completely.

I failed and gave up three or four times before I could establish a habit of working out three times a week. I know other people that have failed several times before they were able to switch to a new way of eating and finally stick to it. And Edison failed several thousands of times before he got the light bulb to work as he wanted.

So you got to understand that failure is normal. And the best route is to keep going and gain understanding from your failures or mistakes. Social conditioning and homeostasis often seems to lead us to believe that if you fail you should go home and not ever try again.

But the most successful people are so successful just because they failed, learned and tried again. And again. They are successful because they view failure and mistakes as something valuable instead of something that is simply dreadful and painful.

2012 will pass no matter what you do. You will arrive at New Year's Eve this year too.

So if you fail or make some mistakes, so what? Since the time will pass no matter what you do you might as well try again. By doing that you can make 2012 your best year ever.

I hope this email will help you to make that New Year's resolution stick and to get 2012 off to a positive start,

by Henrik
 
 
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