''One forgives to the degree that one loves. '' ~ Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Anytime you’re filled with resentment, you’re turning the controls of your emotional life over to others to manipulate.
Removing resentment and blame from your life means never assigning responsibility to anyone for what you’re experiencing. It means that you’re willing to say, “I may not understand why I feel this way, why I have this illness, why I’ve been victimized, or why I had this accident, but I’m willing to say without any guilt or resentment that I own it. I live with, and I am responsible for, having it in my life.” Why do this? If you take responsibility for having it, then at least you have a chance to also take responsibility for removing it or learning from it.
First, you have to get past blame. Then you have to learn to send love to all, rather than anger and resentment. Just as no one can define you, neither do you have the privilege of defining others. When you stop judging and simply become an observer, you will know inner peace. With that sense of inner peace, you’ll find yourself free of the negative energy of resentment, and you’ll be able to live a life of contentment. A bonus is that you’ll find that others are much more attracted to you. A peaceful person attracts peaceful energy.
At the root of virtually all spiritual practice is the notion of forgiveness. Think about every single person who has ever harmed you, cheated you, defrauded you, or said unkind things about you. Your experience of them is nothing more that a thought that you carry around with you. These thoughts of resentment, anger, and hatred represent slow, debilitating energies that will disempower you. If you could release them, you would know more peace.
You practice forgiveness for two reasons: to let others know that you no longer wish to be in a state of hostility with them and to free yourself from the self-defeating energy of resentment. Send love in some form to those you feel have wronged you and notice how much better you feel.