Thursday, August 11, 2011

Put Your Pride Aside...

"Saying you're sorry doesn't mean that you think you're wrong; it just means that you value the other person more than your pride."

I cannot count how many times this little piece of wisdom has come in handy for me through the years. Arguing with me was nothing short of a complete nightmare. 

I would defend my side of the argument, no matter what it was, until I was blue in the face; just for the sake of proving my point. 

Now, when I catch myself getting a little over-heated, six little words pop into my head: "I don't have to be right."  Fights can sometimes go on and on because neither person will back down. After a while the topic that caused the fight isn't even in clear sight and yet the fight continues for the mere fact of being right. It becomes so ridiculous. (And exausting!)

We've all had those instances where we have spent more than enough time and energy arguing about something that was of little importance at some point in our lives, and what do we usually gain out of it?  Not very much, if anything at all.  In fact, sometimes we even lose  friends or loved ones who mean a lot to us. It's almost always a lose / lose situation.... all because we had to be stubborn...  we had to be right!

No one wants a fight to continue, but in the heat of the moment it's not always easy to think clearly. Many people don’t realize that just making one nice, understanding comment or gesture can sometimes be the answer to turning the entire situation around for the better. This doesn’t mean giving in to the other’s point of view; it simply means that one person needs to be the one to take the fight down a notch. This can require apologizing for your part in the argument, but it can also simply be a question of facing the problem more calmly and with a new perspective. 

Chances are that if you just take a second to collect yourself and chill out, the whole fight will take on a brand new tone and it will be much easier to fix things and make up.  If I have learned anything from fighting it is to never underestimate the value of a "time out".  It is the single most important decision that you can make during a heated argument and it has the potential to either make or break your relationship. 

I have had more than my share of these moments and I promise you, you will never regret taking a moment to step back and re-evaluate your situation from a more calm, clear and rational state of mind. So be smart, control yourself, and think before you act. Take the time to clear your mind, give each other some space and remember that love, respect, and kind / selfless intentions are the keys to getting along, not in being "right in this fight".

"Put your pride aside and apologize."
~ Danielle Miyoshi
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